Words: Chris Hammond
Image: Christopher Halloran
Got a spare couple of mil lying about? Thought not. Probably for the best really, because you might be forced to spend it on shit like this…
A Pointless Political Campaign
To look at you’d never guess that pudgy faced, silver haired Republican Newt Gingrich (above) would ever have been a contender for anything other than ‘America’s Cheeriest Postman 2012’. Looks however can be deceptive. Newt is an avid author of ‘alternate history’ novels, partaker in extra-marital affairs and serious zoo enthusiast. He’s also a long serving Republican politician and thanks to $20 million of Casino tycoon Sheldon Adelson’s personal fortune, a potential president of the United States. The cash ended up being used to discredit Republican rival Mitt Romney and make Newt look . . . well like the kind of old dude who spends his spare time writing re-imaginings of the American Civil war. Needless to say the expensive push for leadership didn’t work. Unperturbed by his wasted millions, Sheldon Adelson looks set to pump even more cash into backing none other than Mitt Romney.
The Real Jurassic Park
Aussie billionaire Clive Palmer is well known for his outlandish attempts to burn off his hard won fortune. Recently it was suggested that the eccentric was looking into the possibility of breeding dinosaurs from extracted DNA strands. Getting from A-B here wouldn’t be easy, but if it all went to plan these beasties would then be reared on an Australian ‘holiday’ ranch. Palmer, under intense pressure from the media eventually denied the project was a goer. Instead he’s spunking the better part of his kid’s inheritance on an identical model of The Titanic which will be setting sail around 2016. We probably won’t be booking tickets for that one.
The £180,000 Pigeon
To most of us pigeons are flying rats; mangy, downtrodden birds which scuffle and flap about our city centres indiscriminately losing their bowels on buildings and people. There are those though who enjoy nothing more than taking one of these little fellas and chucking them out the window in the hope they’ll race to some other destination. In the UK pigeon racing is a sport reserved for men who wear flat caps and dirty macs and dwell in their octogenarian parent’s basement where they probably spend evenings watching The Last of The Summer Wine while fanaticising about the West Country’s most scenic steam train rides. In Asia things are a little different. Pigeons there are the playthings of millionaires. The most expensive sold so far came in at £180,000. A thoroughbred Usain Bolt of the air it might have been, but surely there are hipper animals that can be had for the price of a detached three bedroom house?