Lyle and Scot

While Lyle and Scot trace their history back to the 1800s (we do like our heritage up here) they’ve not really been high street hip until recently. Once more of a ‘golfers only’ brand their chunky woollen hats and slick knits have become must haves after appearing in the likes of ‘Skins’.

www.lyleandscott.com

Gillian Kyle

If you like retro you’ll love the work of Gillian Kyle. From Tunnocks teacake emblazoned shopping bags to Creamola Foam aprons, Gillian Kyle has created a quirky range of clothing and accessories which remind us of our favourite Scottish brands.

www.gilliankyle.com

Ness

Tartan is of course an amazing staple of any Scottish style diet. Yet every now and then the reds and greens can get a little bit boring. If clan tartans do start to grate, take a look at Ness. Ness have a fantastic range of bright, modern tartan clothing and accessories. There’s almost certainly an item in their collection to suit everyone.

www.nessbypost.com

Jaggy Nettle

A new brand Jaggy Thistle design unique, exciting and energetic clothes for men and women. From smart one word branded cashmere jumpers to tweed trainers and leather jackets there’s more than a wee hint of art school invention in their outfits. While not cheap, the individuality you’ll be buying is priceless.

www.jaggynettle.com

Holly Fulton

Ex-Edinburgh College of Art student Holly Fulton has been making big impressions on the fashion industry for a couple of years now. Her ostentatious dresses and hautecouture leanings have given her the sort of catwalk credibility few so young manage to achieve. Dresses are close to £400 though so maybe this is a case of look but don’t touch.

www.hollyfulton.com

Check out the latest Scotcampus for more articles like this.

A recent poll at popular games website Gamespot suggested that not many of us were terribly excited by the prospect of a new Nintendo Wii. Now this might be because users of the website are perhaps more seasoned gamers keener on platforms such as the PS3. Or it could be that the Wii is what it is and unless the latest version is massively different, buyers won’t be turned on quite so quickly this time.

It’s a difficult pitch. Almost everyone is in agreement that the three main consoles (the PS3, Wii and XBOX 360) are coming towards the end of their natural life. The operating system behind the ever popular XBOX 360 for example, is extremely outdated when compared to even moderately priced modern PCs. But what do gamers want from a future release and what will it take to replace these massively successful machines?

Let’s take a look back at the release of the XBOX 360. Launched way back in 2005, the platform was undoubtedly an improvement on its not-too-shabby predecessor. The graphics were obviously a big step up, as was the storage space, user friendliness and personalised aspects such as your Avatar. But what really turned gamers on was the likes of the revolutionary wireless controller and later on the impressive additions such as Last. FM. The online gaming (though an extra expense) was slicker than the same experience on the XBOX and the ability to really create and share an online presence with your mates made the platform much more social than
anything released previously.

When you bought an XBOX 360 or a PS3 you weren’t just buying into a toy you were buying into a community and a way of spending time with friends many of us would never have considered. As the machines have evolved and the likes of SKY TV, Lovefilm, 4OD, Twitter and Facebook have been integrated into the experience these ‘gaming’ consoles have become even more essential. So, what can we expect from the next generation of consoles from Microsoft and Sony? We’re still unsure. As discussed in a previous article both companies are keeping tight lipped about any developments, though most industry experts have pencilled in a release in late 2013.

While we can’t really begin to speculate on what will be part of any new release, we can discuss what we think should be part of the next generation consoles.

Here’s our wish list.

Play all the old games

Both the PS3 and XBOX 360 have seen a stack of excellent titles over the years. From the recent release of Skyrim to the seminal Gears of War, it would be a travesty if fans couldn’t play these games on a new machine. Sadly with the likes of the XBOX 360 there were major compatibility issues with older XBOX games meaning fans missed out on experiencing some of their old favourites. Full compatibility would give gamers a real incentive to purchase any new machine, particularly if online multiplayer options also remained.

Make hardware upgradeable

2005 was a long time ago and maybe we should be celebrating the longevity of the XBOX 360 rather than deriding the fact it hasn’t really been spruced up yet. But the fact remains, PC gaming at the top end is much better looking than either of the leading consoles recent efforts. While hard drives can be swapped and upgraded with ease on current consoles a real plus point would be the ability to swap graphics cards manually. Having the ability to enhance your original machine’s visual capabilities as new technology becomes available is a key plus point to gaming PCs and would be a welcome addition to any new console. Also, the likes of Kinect should be a built in feature to any new console rather than be an extra add-on.

Become more social

There’s no question that multiplayer games are one of the big success stories of both PS3 and XBOX 360. But still there’s more to be done. Neither platform has ever managed to create any significant MMORPG titles yet for example. You only have to look at the continued popularity of World of Warcraft to know that if a console could provide a fully interactive online world the potential would be massive. Another interactive aspect which could be improved upon is the way games work with social media. Wiring achievements into Twitter or allowing players to automatically link up Facebook friends to their gaming account would be a solid start. To this day, I’m still finding mates with XBOX Live accounts who I didn’t even know had the console in the first place.

Embrace modding

While indie games have been an integral aspect of today’s consoles, neither the PS3 or XBOX 360 offer anything like the same amount of gaming customisation as is available to PC gamers. Massive modding communities exist online creating content, patches and extensions for existing games. Some of these mods are as good as anything created professionally and in the case of some titles have greatly extended the life of certain games. Allowing console users the creative license to explore a title’s capabilities might not be so easy, but if in-built accessibility was there it’d breathe a lot of life into the gaming community.

Explore portability

Sony’s latest release The Playstation Vita will be hitting UK stores this month. Its launch in Japan late 2011 suggested that while smartphones and tablets were eating into the demand for handheld consoles, there was still a market for powerful portable games. What we’d like to see is some sort of interactivity between portables and non-portables. Perhaps you could customise an RPG player on your phone or create a Modern Warfare multiplayer class before unleashing them on your actual console? The Whispernet technology utilised by Amazon’s Kindle shows us that syncing between devices can work and if big screen console gaming (or aspects of it at least) can be experienced across multiple platforms that would be a massive step up. Commutes would be a whole lot more exciting if you could take your phone out and continue the game you were playing the night before in some shape or form.

A veteran of over 1000 gigs Frank Turner is rightly regarded as one of the most hard working men in music. He’s a punchy, folk rock artist with a festival friendly sound and a punk ethos which goes against every preconception people have of him. Educated at Eton, Turner shunned the typical alumni path and moved into music. His first serious group Million Dead won plaudits for their hardcore tunes but failed to build on their early promise, disbanding in 2005. That might have been the last we heard of Frank. Except it wasn’t. Going solo, he’s been touring like a man possessed in pubs, bars, venues and festivals all across the world in an attempt to get out there and have his music heard. The results haven’t been unimpressive and if ever there was an advert for persistence paying off, it would feature Frank Turner.

With four studio albums under his belt and a host of EPs, Frank has just released his second compilation album. Titled ‘The Second Three Years’, it’s an accessible selection of Frank’s most recent material as he explains: “We did ‘The First Three Years’ a while back, well three years ago, to bring together all the material I’d released on smaller EPs, compilation tracks and so on. I wanted it to be easy for people coming new to my music to pick up everything I’d done, rather than having to poke around on eBay for obscure out of print stuff. Three years later I had a rummage around my archives and found another pile of unreleased stuff, so I figured it’d be cool to bring it all together again. There are a lot of songs on there that are mine and which aren’t on any albums, and there’s a lot of covers as well. Hopefully it is value for money.”

While ‘The Second Three Years’ pulls together some of Frank’s most recent work, he’s quick to point out that it isn’t the best introduction for new listeners. The preferred way to listen to Frank Turner remains live, and if his 2012 schedule is anything like as busy as his 2011 one there’ll be every opportunity to see him on the road before too long.

Seen by many as the natural heir to outspoken singer-songwriter Billy Bragg, listeners will be expecting last year’s cuts, riots and strikes to feature in Frank’s most recent music. The singer himself though seems to argue that such a move might not mean much in the long run.”I might, although I’m wary of what I think of as the Phil Ochs trap – writing topical songs which then very quickly become irrelevant. I’d like to think that my material will survive longer than the moment.”

For someone comfortable playing a series of tiny venues with crowds no bigger than few dozen it must have been a pretty big surprise to find his last studio album ‘England Keep My Bones’ very nearly broke into the top ten albums on its release day. “Well, the chart thing was a little weird for me. Obviously it was pretty amazing that it did so well, but it’s basically a measure of sales over a very short period of time, and I can’t say that’s something that I care about all that much. The ‘prestige’ or whatever is meaningless to me. If people take their time coming to what I do, that’s fine with me of course. I guess it was cool to see a record released by a small independent label hold its own.”

‘England Keep My Bones’ was something of a bittersweet love note to his country of birth. Touching on subjects such as national identity and atheism, the album’s name belies an accessibility that saw it become a huge favourite with both Europeans and the American festival audiences of last year. So what is it that makes his very ‘English’ sensibilities so accessible to audiences worldwide? “If I could answer that question I’d write a guide and make my millions (laughs). I’m not sure. I try not to analyse what I do too much, I just write what I consider to be the best songs that I can and then put them out there. It’s great that a lot of people seem to like them too.”

Perhaps because of his willingness to play anywhere, Frank is always associated with tours to obscure places, intimate gigs and festivals. But making that sort assumption doesn’t really do justice to a man who was picked to support Green Day at Wembley Stadium and headlined one of Download’s stages last year. It also doesn’t quite ring true when you look at his next big date; Wembley Arena in April. How is it playing such widely different venues? “My crew and I are working overtime already to make sure that the show goes off as well as can be. It’s a challenge, logistically and creatively, to make a show work in that context, and to make sure that it doesn’t lose the participation and intimacy that, I think, stand out about my shows. I think we’re going to pull it off, but it’s a lot of work. I don’t want it to be like a normal arena show, I’m trying to make sure that it feels different, more personal.”

Finally, after promising that a tour to Scotland is very much on the cards at some point, Frank reveals that his biggest concern isn’t Wembley going right or the chart sales of his latest compilation. It’s just time. “I’m actually having a problem trying to schedule everything I want to do next year. I want to make a new album, but I also have plans for a few side projects, and I’m working on a book of tour diaries. And if course there’s the road. Ha! We’ll work it out somehow.”

Frank Turner’s latest album ‘The Second Three Years’ is out now. Check out www.frank-turner.com for tour information.

The PM recently suggested that public investment in British commercial films might be what is needed to reignite the waning UK media.  One can’t help but wonder, however, whether ‘blockbusters’ today are little more than the most expensive form of mediocre entertainment. With the advent of 3D, the increased accessibility to a vast reservoir of special effects, and a seemingly endless number of options provided by digital technology, has the attention shifted away from decent storytelling and basic creative imagery?

With flashy remakes of old classics, and endless sequels based on contemporary commercial fiction, could it be that we’ve traded potentially meaningful and iconic moments for formulaic stories with big explosions and throw-away one liners?  This, of course is perhaps an unfair generalisation of modern cinema, but here are five examples of ageless instances captured on celluloid that have yet to meet their match.

Casablanca (1942): The unsociable and often brooding bar owner Rick Blaine (Bogart) is stirred from his sullen slumber by the unexpected return of old flame Ilsa, played in a calm yet sultry manner by Ingrid Bergman.  This legendary moment in film history is encapsulated in the line, ‘Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.’

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961):  Starring Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard, centred on the untameable and alluring Holly Golightly, contains a famous scene in which she sits on a window sill singing Moon River, perhaps highlighting her underlying vulnerabilities.  A beautiful scene, whichever way you look at it.

Gone with the Wind (1939):  This film gave birth to one of the best known moments of dialogue on the silver screen, when Scarlett O’Hara asks of Rhett Butler, ‘Where shall I go?  What shall I do?’ to which Rhett (Gable) calmly responds, ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’.  Also famous for being an early instance of – believe it or not – swearing in film.

Citizen Kane (1941):  Widely considered to be amongst the best films ever made, Orson Welles’ masterpiece starts with a reporter’s search to discover the significance of the dying word, ‘Rosebud’, breathed by media tycoon Charles Foster Kane.  After a recap of his incredible rise to power, the film boasts a poignant ending in which the viewer discovers that ‘Rosebud’ was the name of an old sled of his, a simple but cherished memory from the innocence of his childhood.

Dr Strangelove (1964):  A Kubrick classic starring Peter Sellers, the potential end of the world looms when a rogue US Air Force general releases a nuclear strike on the Soviet Union, unaware that they have an automatic retaliatory Doomsday device in place that will end life on Earth.  Towards the end of the film, there is the timeless and well known scene where, on discovering that the release mechanism is broken, the US aircraft commander straddles the nuke and pushes it free, riding it rodeo style as it descends.

In a popularity contest it is fair to say that Margaret Thatcher would not rate very highly. In fact feelings about her are so strong in some parts of Britain that cancer would be more popular. However the same can’t be said for Meryl Streep the actress who portrayed her in ‘The Iron Lady’. She recently won a Golden Globe for her eerily accurate Thatcher performance. I’m pretty sure Streep didn’t win this award because Thatcher was an audience favourite from the start.

No, she won it because she managed to make Maggie, if not likeable, then at the very least tolerable and maybe ever so slightly sympathetic. I’m sure things like characterisation; nuance and other acting techniques helped her win too. She is after all a bloody good actress. Just watch the scene in ‘Mamma Mia’ where she has to listen to Pierce Brosnan sing without shoving her fists into her brain to make the noise stop. She doesn’t even flinch.

The question remains why anyone would think a film like ‘The Iron Lady’ could possibly be successful. You only have to take one look at the posters with the image of Meryl in her Thatcher curls and pearls to realise that it’s going to be a hard sell. Her big pale face leering off the side of buses is enough to scare minors and…eh…miners.

However, with a relatively low budget and an award winning actress in the lead it is doing surprisingly well at the box office. So who is to blame for a biopic about one of the most divisive figures in recent history? Well, let’s blame the Queen, her stuttering father and that Facebook guy.

Let’s start with the Queen or more accurately ‘The Queen’ (2006). Despite looking like a TV movie and de-glamorising Helen Mirren ‘The Queen’ was a modest hit and managed to help us empathise with HRH by suggesting that she does indeed have emotions despite acting like a mindless automaton every time she has to mingle with the lower classes (i.e. everyone).

‘The Queen’ while not strictly being an extensive biopic (it takes place over the week of Diana’s funeral) re-ignited an interest in the biopic film. Especially as in this case filmmakers didn’t have to look at the subject over their lifetime, instead they could focus on one particular chapter in their life. This is especially true of the next film to focus on the Royals, the multi award winning ‘The King’s Speech’ (2010). The film chose to focus on King George’s ascendancy to the throne and the stammer he had to overcome on the way. The reason this film was successful is because it follows a strict Hollywood template. George starts off unsure, gains confidence, loses it for a bit then overcomes the odds for a triumphant ending. It’s effectively ‘Rocky’ for stutterers.

The other biopic around this time was David Fincher’s ‘The Social Network’ which focused on the creation of Facebook by Mark Zuckerburg and his subsequent success and failure. This took the familiar Rocky structure but twisted it to show that while Zuckerburg achieved financial success he managed to alienate those around him and end up a lonely figure.

Biopics that focus on a specific timeframe usually use the ‘rags to riches, overcoming adversity’ on the one hand and the ‘had everything but threw it away’ on the other. ‘The King’s Speech’ and ‘The Social Network’ are both variations on these classic themes and thus have been successful.

The other type of biopic (and one that ‘The Iron Lady’ follows) is telling the story of someone’s life over a much larger period of time. This allows filmmakers to provide a greatest hits of the subjects’ life; a recent example of this would be ‘The Aviator’ which follows the highs and very lows of the pioneering Howard Hughes over a 20 year period. DiCapro’s next film is another biopic, this time of the less loveable but no less pioneering J.Edgar Hoover in ‘J.Edgar’. Presumably calling it Hoover would mean it would suggest that it sucks.

Biopics are by and large very successful because they follow strict film conventions, but also because thay are part of a true life story which somehow makes it feel worthier. Why else do you think biopics are normally nominated for awards even if the films themselves are merely average? Prime examples would be A Beautiful Mind, Ray, Ali and the very overrated Braveheart.

Braveheart for all its historical inaccuracies and bloated running time does at least have something that most biopics would kill for. The death of the protagonist. There is no finer way to end a story about someone’s life than with their death. In this case a horrifically violent death is treated as something victorious and heartwarming as William Wallace cries out ‘FREEDOM’ with his last breath. I’m sure many people wish ‘The Iron Lady’ had a similar ending except without the triumph and heartwarming bits. Keep the torture and beheading though.

5 Biopics we need to see

Noel Edmunds

A harrowing trip through the life of Noel as he moves through the decades without changing his appearance, personality or dress sense. Features scenes of Mr. Blobby orgies and ferocious beard trimming. Played by Michael Sheen.

Kim Jong-IL

A North Korean production in which the life of their dearly departed leader is told honestly and realistically. A triumphant scene where Kim Jong-Il saves the world by head butting an asteroid back into space is apparently slightly exaggerated. Slightly. Played by a kidnapped and clearly terrified Michael Sheen.

Fearne Cotton

The heartwarming tale of an emotionless robot who grew up to become a semi successful radio presenter. In the process she develops actual human emotions. It doesn’t show. Played by a glum Michael Sheen.

Jedward

Two hours of ear splitting horror which is subsequently used as a form of torture on suspected terrorists. Terrorism ends. Played by
Michael Sheen…twice.

Michael Sheen

A very Meta film about the life of Michael Sheen who has lost his personality amid those of Tony Blair, Kenneth Williams, David Frost and Brian Clough. Weirdly Sheen is played by Steve Coogan…and Michael Sheen.

Driving up the west coast last week the car radio was struggling to get a frequency at all.

When it did, Radio 4 came on with a dull sounding programme about British youth culture. It was better than nothing though, so I listened as I drove up through Wester Ross, I’m seriously glad I did too.

One of the guests on the programme was Owen Jones, author of the 2011 bestseller ‘Chavs; The Demonization of the Working Class’. This is a brilliant book for anyone who ever asks themselves ‘What became of the Likely Lads’ for in ‘Chavs’, Jones argues persuasively that the British working class have been steadily caricatured as ‘Vicky Pollards and Jade Goodys’ facing a conspiracy of stereotypes in the media, tv, online and print. Jones charts the societal destruction of Thatcherism and the treachery of New Labour to display how the working class have gone form being the salt of the earth to the scum of it. All this vitriol is encapsulated in the word ‘chavs’- or perhaps more aptly put up here ‘neds’.

This book is a must for all you philosophy, psychology and anthropology students. Nor have class or race distinctions ever been more valid a study, particularly if we are to believe David Starkey the media friendly historian who claims “whites have become the new blacks” . Whatever that means only he knows.

As I was listening, the radio debate changed topics slightly and concentrated on Brits abroad, particularly stag and hen dos in Eastern Europe. Following a tirade of angry phone-ins lamenting how destructive Brit ‘thugs’ are, Dominic Chester began defending stag behaviour saying that the very ideals of male bonding and freedom have changed in recent generations. He should know, he has been following stag parties for the last year and has a new book ‘The Stag Without Antlers’ coming out in 2012.

The debate moved on again to a study in the differences between the British and American class systems. As we all know, to Americans social status is about money and power. To Brits it is all about birth and accent; old money or new. Donald Trump has a chutzpah that Americans widely adore but Alan Sugar is the barrow-boy ‘done good’ to the Brits.

These conversations got me thinking about recent books which ‘tackle’ these issues. There is definitely something going on in the wonderful world of non-fiction as a recent run on books all addressing the ‘crisis’ in our lives testifies. From Caitlin Moran’s Bible for the fairer sex ‘How To Be A Woman’ to SJ Watson’s ‘Before I Go To Sleep’ or even the reissuing of Dickens’ novels ( the ultimate Victorian class writer) Great ‘Expectations’ and ‘Edwin Drood’, there are more books than ever before which imbue the reader with as sense of impending doom. This is not to mention the tide of bestseller’s about the financial crisis which have hit the shelves in the last two years.

But British scare-mongering is nothing compared to the near ridiculous non-fiction market in the U.S. Bill O Reilly (a notorious far-right anchorman for CNN) has recently published the fear-spreading ‘Who’s Looking Out For You?’ Regretfully, it looks set to be the go-to guide for American idiots for the next decade. So too the prophetic nonsense of Tom Hartman’s ‘Screwed; The Undeclared War Against the Middle Class’ and Cameron Smith’s ‘Ten Distinctions Between the Middle Class and Millionaires’, which is a ridiculous handbook somewhere between the self-help genre and outright fiction.

These books of late all seem to have something in common; they agree that society (British and American) is being categorised. From chavs to millionaires; never have there been so many class and lifestyle based titles. Now with each one comes a new guide full of tidbits of advice on how to stay afloat. Make of them what you will.

Celebrity style on a shoestring student budget has never been so easy to achieve thanks to booming British brand Motel. With famous fans including The Saturdays, Marina Diamandis and X Factor winners Little Mix, this high street honey is bringing high fashion to the masses, and, most importantly, to your wardrobe.

Frequent Topshop and ASOS visitors will instantly recognise the concession’s bright tropical prints, bodycon dresses and figure flashing cut-outs, but the self-confessed “wild child of British style” is no one trick pony, with everything from vintage style playsuits to edgy printed jeans adorning their website. Aiming to start a fashion revolution, Motel is urging us to “bin the beige and shred the shapeless”, in order to reinvent the trends and celebrate the fabulous female form. With their base boutique in Bristol, and stockists as far around the globe as Australia, the ever growing brand is changing the face of fashion one continent at a time.

From copious nights out to the hangovers that inevitably follow, lectures to lunches, Motel have pulled out all the stops this spring/summer to provide you students with an outfit for every occasion. Versace-inspired baroque prints adorn everything from skirts to shirts, so if you missed out on Donatella’s collection for H&M you can still get in on the action, with a Motel twist of course. Team the Hardy boyfriend shirt in blue baroque print (£38) with a pair of Motel’s bestselling Jordan skinny jeans (£48) for a colour pop preppy daytime look.

Alternatively, contrast the Zoe body in pink baroque print (£25) with a gorgeous violet Becka bodycon skirt (£32) for a cool club vibe. Just add killer heels!

If sports luxe is more your thing then check out the colour block trend or the geometric shapes of the Bambi dress (£42). This monochrome mini is so Helmut Lang and could easily be styled for day or night. More futuristic fashionistas will adore the new galaxy speed printed frocks or the plethora of mesh detailing which has cropped up this season. The Goldie dress (£48) is very Alexander Wang, with hexagon mesh sleeves and side panels, adding a sexy twist to the classic LBD and creating a perfect party girl look.

For those chilly Scottish mornings when only warmth will do, take a look at Motel’s newest additions to their knitwear collection. Expect to see flecked yarn, chunky cable knits and boyfriend shapes, perfect for healing your hangover, or getting you out of bed and into class this February. The Louise jumper in navy and cream (£55) is an easy outfit- add thick knit tights and ankle boots for the ultimate in comfy chic.

So the next time you’re complaining that you have nothing to wear you know exactly where to look… if your favourite famous face doesn’t beat you to it.

To shop online or find a stockist near you hit www.motelrocks.com and join the revolution.

Everyone has something to say about Valentines Day! Whether you’re a girl who waits for a dozen red roses each year, or you’re a guy who wishes the holiday would disappear into a black hole with the other card shop holidays. Whatever fence you sit on, there’s no denying that the holiday is a big event each year. So this year, why not try something different? Escape the usual routine of overseas city breaks and head on a romantic village break in Scotland. Here’s a list of some of the best places to take a quiet weekend this Valentine’s Day.

North Berwick

At 25 miles east of Edinburgh, North Berwick is the just a short journey away from Scotland’s Capital. The best way to get there is by train not only because it’s a short journey but the views along the east coast are quite amazing, and even a little romantic. If you are into sports you can go golfing, sailing or fishing but don’t worry if you’re not a giant sports fan like me, you can visit some castles and enjoy some great home cooked food in some of the pubs and restaurants dotted around the area. The area also boosts one of Scotland’s few five star attractions – The Scottish Seabird Centre overlooks the sea and islands of the Forth and makes for a great relaxing day out.

Dunkeld

Dunkeld is the place for book lovers to go. Head north out of Edinburgh and it won’t be long before you come across this picturesque Perthshire village, located just a few miles away from the Fair City itself. Surrounded by miles of beautiful countryside there is plenty for outdoor enthusiasts, while nostalgia fans will be pleased to know it has strong ties with Beatrix Potter and her first book ‘The Tale of Peter Rabbit’. The famous Hilton Dunkeld House & Country club is based on a summer house by the 6th Duke of Atholl and is home to a Potter memorial. The writer spent much time here writing her Peter Rabbit stories. If rabbits aren’t your idea of romance then maybe Shakespeare is? Why not head into the Perthshire’s Big Tree Country and discover the woods named by the man himself in one of his most famous plays – Macbeth.

Findhorn

If you have a bit more time and fancy a trip further north then Findhorn is the place to go. Located right beside the sea, it’s the perfect fishing village. If you’re feeling extra romantic you can go for a stroll along Findhorn’s beach where it’s not uncommon to find seals lounging around, you might even see some dolphins if you’re lucky. While the area has a bit of a special microclimate making it oddly warm, it’s still probably too cold to think about getting in the water. Eating lots of seafood and drinking in one of the area’s many fantastic pubs is a must here; though those with the stomach for the sea may even take a small boat into the bay in an attempt to catch your own.

With the approach of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee this year, Perth has seized the opportunity to reapply for ‘city status’, a distinction it lost back in the late ‘90s along with towns such as Elgin in the north east of Scotland. Many residents and members of the business community in Perth feel that regaining its standing as a city would be a great boon for the local economy.

However, just because this Tay straddling town is relatively small, it doesn’t detract from the bounty of options available to the weekend traveller. Vast amounts of spacious countryside within a few minutes of the centralised town of Perth have earned Perthshire the nickname of ‘The Big County’, and its geographical location (an easy drive from both Edinburgh and Glasgow) have made it something of a hub for tourists, particularly those who opt to drive around Scotland. Here’s a quick idea of some of the things on offer for anyone who may experience car troubles on their way to Edinburgh, and need to kill a little time.

Bars and Restaurants

There’s no shortage of places to take a pit stop in the Fair City for the hungry or thirsty pilgrim, whether it be to refuel with a quick sandwich and coffee, take a little time out for a proper sit down meal, unwind with a quick drink, or unwind more thoroughly with eight or nine drinks. The centre is full of establishments just off of – or within a two minute walk from – the High Street. For those looking to wet their whistle, preferably with something that’s been through a process of fermentation, The Foundry located next to the Playhouse cinema is always a popular choice. Or just across the street is the The Wee Bar, a quaint drinking hole which is attached to The Bothy restaurant, though it probably bears mentioning that this option may be more suited on days when your pockets are slightly heavier with coin. This is perhaps to be expected, however, given the excellent reputation of The Bothy restaurant itself, which is a great option for anyone looking to split the difference between casual dining and a slightly more upmarket experience.

For those looking for a more modern interior, Sportsters, is less than a minute away on South Methven Street. With the usual ‘bar and grill’ style fare on offer, Sportsters has an outdoor area allowing for alfresco drinking and dining should you pop in during the day, and with the recent increase in Perth’s student population (via Perth College) this establishment also boasts one of the more popular nightclubs in town in the form of City, located upstairs from the main bar area.

On the other side of the town centre (still only a few minutes of walking) lies the French restaurant Pig’halle, serving – unsurprisingly – French oriented cuisine. This is for those looking to enjoy a proper meal, rather than a pub lunch or speedy bite on the go, and boasts a menu that will appeal to the ‘classical cuisine’ disciples perhaps more than any other dining establishment in Perth. With the usual lunch offers and ever appetising dinner menus, it has, with good reason, become a popular venue on the Perth scene.

Attractions and Landmarks

When the appetite for food and drink has been sated, one can burn off calories by walking around some ofPerth’s more cultural attractions. If you’re in town looking to catch a show, be it music or comedy, the relatively young Perth Concert Hall enjoys a growing reputation amongst performers across the board, though sadly has also been known to host political conferences.

Culture vultures may be interested to know that Perth Museum and Art Gallery claims to be one of the oldest museums in the UK, focussing mainly on Scottish history and art, and displaying the standard array of old weapons, armour, documents, currency and more. Those, however, who are looking to experience a little more of the countryside don’t need to travel too far to involve themselves either in outdoor sports (there’s plenty of good hiking routes around) or some good old fashioned nature watching. Scone Palace sits just a few short miles out of town (less than ten minutes by car) and states a claim to fame which dates back to the Middle Ages when it was known as Scone Abbey. This was where, upon the famous Stone of Destiny (or Stone of Scone), the Scottish kings were crowned.

With as much beautiful scenery as it has history, Scone Palace is open for general viewing through the Spring and Summer months, as well as playing host to many events throughout the year. So enjoy the history and bohemianesque festivals of Edinburgh, and shop till you drop in the city of Glasgow. But take a moment if you can to stray from the beaten track, and you may just find it worthwhile!

Here’s the scenario; it’s 2020 and Scotland is an independent fully functioning state. But Alex Salmond has been usurped as Scotland’s first president by ‘people’s champion’ Tommy Sheridan. Things start off well for Big T, but after a disastrous attempt to connect Easterhouse with Bearsden by tram, Scotland runs out of cash. The will to struggle on in poverty vanishes with the last Scottish pound; Scotland needs another union. But rather than go cap in hand back to the UK to listen to ‘we told you so’ forever, the country decides to explore other partners.

Deliciously poised these are the referendum options. Will the Scots be bought and sold for foreign gold, or will we make our political partnership with a bedfellow who offers other guilty perks?

Brazil
Current GDP Ranking: 6th
Population: 192 million

The last time Scotland took a collective jaunt over to South America we ended up scrapping with the Spanish, starving and spending the rest of our time in a swamp. It was to be fair, a pretty crappy time. The ghosts of the Darien Scheme have long since vanished though and this exciting continent has much to offer us beyond the customary bout of malaria and malnutrition experienced back in the 1690s.

Brazil is booming and as there’s always been a curious bond between those sunny smiley South Americans and the grey faced, wheezing malcontents of our wet little nation they could be ideal partners. Perhaps in exchange for all our Irn- Bru, whisky and oil we can have our own stretch of Arpoador beach and maybe amalgamate our football sides. It’d be a fair trade to see an 85 year old David Weir lift the World Cup.

CANADA
Current GDP Ranking: 11th
Population: 35 million

Canada might be huge in terms of landmass but with a population of 35 million, Scotland would hardly be swallowed up if the two were to combine. But would the two be a good fit? Well first off both have had to live with a bigger noisier neighbour so would perhaps appreciate the partnership a little bit more. Further to this, many Canadians share an ancestral heritage with the Scots, so introductions shouldn’t be too difficult.

But any alliance would have to come under the condition Mike Myers is executed on Aberdeen’s Castlegate for crimes against kilts, Scottish accents and film (in the case of ‘The Love Guru’). Without his head, it’s difficult to see how the two nations could be reconciled to work together in future.

FRANCE
Current GDP Ranking: 5th
Population: 66 million

Resurrecting the Auld Alliance would be a massive boot in the stones for Westminster. One of the original reasons England was so keen on a political union with the Scots back in 1707 was because of their cosy relationships with the French. For centuries Scottish knights served as a special guard for French Kings, exiled and outlawed Scots in England were lavished with monies and mansions across the channel and Scots enjoyed a typically overenthusiastic relationship with red wine.

This could all be the same again. Sarkozy could have an honour guard of angry Glaswegians captained perhaps by John Smeaton. The Krankies could host their swinging parties in splendid Parisian manors rather than squalid tenements. While the hoi polloi could drown their sorrows at the prospect of yet another domineering next-door neighbour with the finest discounted Cabernet Sauvignon. Throw in a potential Six Nations victory every year or so and this could well be the one.

IRELAND
Current GDP Ranking: 44th
Population: 6 million

Could there be a better cultural fit than the Irish? Think about it; U2 and Simple Minds, Graham Norton and Lorraine Kelly, Shamrocks and Thistles, leprechauns and Ronnie Corbett – these are two nations destined to be together in eternal insobriety. Ireland would bring to the table an entrepreneurial nous Scots long since lost along with a whole host of empty new builds and a cracking chance of a Eurovision win.

Should union between the two be a goer the Celtic Tiger might even re-emerge to claw its way to the economic middle ground. And if it didn’t, the utterly epic party to celebrate the joining would doubtless negate any future troubles and torments.

UGANDA
Current GDP Ranking: 112th
Population: 33 million

This might seem a strange one, but there is solid reasoning behind Uganda being on our list of union potentials. Right now most of Europe might be experiencing stagnant growth but Uganda is flying ahead, with annual leaps of up to 8% in recent years. After decades of misrule it looks like this African nation is getting back on its feet.

Despite the distance and cultural difference Uganda does share some strange bonds with Scotland. Bobby Williamson coaches the Ugandan national football side, kilt wearing former dictator Idi Amin was a huge fan of Scotland (even going so far as to proclaim himself our King) while Victoria University in Kampala provides oil and gas training in conjunction with Scotland’s universities. It might be a leftfield bet, but for Scotland’s long term future an up-coming African partner might be just the ticket.

EASTER ISLAND
Current GDP Ranking: N/A
Population: 5000

Technically this little rock in the Pacific belongs to Chile but we’re pretty sure that they won’t miss it. If they did put up a fight to keep their territory, we’d empty the cells after an Old Firm game onto the island and take it by force. Why Easter Island? Well Easter Island is so small, so insignificant and so empty, Scotland would be the major partner no matter what bargaining went on.

Not that the union wouldn’t benefit our new friends, we’d knock down a few of those massive stone heads and build some bloody great big beachside hotels and bars to cope with all the sun seekers and stag nights who’d head out there on holiday. Tiny needn’t mean terrible when it comes to a country.

LUXEMBURG
Current GDP Ranking: 70th
Population: 500,000

The minute state of Luxemburg is exactly half the size of James Corden but houses half a million uber-productive central Europeans. The people of Luxemburg, while cramped, know how to make a buck or two from next to nothing. So just imagine what this landlocked country could do with access to Scotland’s natural resources?

Throw some Luxembourgers at the oil and renewable industries and watch increased efficiency ramp up the profits. Though hardly glamorous, a Luxemburg-Scotland union could see us all driving about in BMW’s as we zip back to our penthouses following a hard day evading income tax. Also, we’re pretty sure Luxemburg’s football titans F91 Dudelange would make an excellent addition to the Highland League.