By Luther Blissett
Seedy as it is comparing solo gaming to prolonged and frantic bouts of onanism, the two aren’t too dissimilar when you look at it objectively. Locked away in a darkened room, bashing away till the early hours, yearning for some instant gratification – only to feel empty when it comes (no pun intended). Yes, computer gaming, like ‘sexy times’, is an activity best enjoyed with someone else. So if you’re feeling a little desperate and want to try some one-on-one (or more!) action why not check out these ultimate multiplayer titles, they’re guaranteed to grind your gaming gears.
Bitch-slap Robbie Coltrane, riddle Sean Bean with bullets and take down Jaws with your Golden Gun across tonnes of ace multiplayer maps on this classic N64 first person shooter. The best game ever? Aye, possibly.
Left 4 Dead 2
Fun on its own this zombie apocalypse caper takes on a whole new dimension when you slug it out with three of your mates. Working as a team (or not) you’ll hack, burn, bomb and shoot your way through mountains of moving moribund meat in this hellish campaign. It’s always fun to bring along a dumb chum to act as cannon fodder whilst the more savvy survivors steam towards the safe-house.
FIFA 98 Road To The World Cup
We highlighted this seminal FIFA title in our World Cup Special a couple of months ago, but feel fully justified in giving it another dose of Scotcampus props. It’s literally brilliant. No game since has matched its level of player, club and country detail. Forget the blocky graphics, dust off your Playstation and prepare for an evening of unadulterated arcade action.
Midnight Club:Los Angeles
Dozens of cars to pick, a huge and realistic LA to explore and no discernable speed limit, this is ‘car dick’ heaven. Watching yourself horsing about like a loon in your superpixelated, souped-up sports car whilst your chums choke on your virtual dust is surprisingly satisfying.
Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2
If you can stomach having your soldier’s guts splattered all over the place by leaping, machine gun wielding enemies controlled by overly dextrous ten year olds for the first four hours, then you’ll soon come to appreciate this superb online shooter. Alternatively put some trousers on and invite mates round to indulge in some split screen warmongering.
Street Fighter 2
Button bashing will only get you so far when a skilled opponent can master some of the unique moves on this retro beat ‘em up. The quirky characters and diverse settings all add to what is quite simply the most addictive and satisfying cyber scrapping game ever committed to a console. Sweet.