It’s time we faced the facts: nobody likes Valentine’s Day. Single, in a happy relationship or otherwise, our love just doesn’t extend to Valentine’s. If you’re single you have two options for the day: cry into a tub of ice cream or go on a dreadful date set up by your well-meaning mate.
If you’re loved up and heart-eyed, you’re expected to be very obnoxious about it. This is not a day about love, the only thing there is to love about it is how easy it is to hate.
To start with, Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a holiday dreamed up by card shops to get you buying. And boy does it work! You’ve left present buying to the day before, all of your thoughtful gifts have sold out so I guess we’re getting another stuffed bear with a love heart key chain. What a significant, meaningful way to express your relationship. The only people who are feeling the love from those purchases are the card shop bosses.
And since when did gifts become a competition? The stakes are rising as the years pass and it’s looking like without a plane ticket and a five star hotel, your present will not pass the sub-par mark in society’s standards. Who cares if you put a lot of time and energy into it? It’s not a ring.
Yes, it’s a day dedicated to your special someone but need I remind you that card stores are rather fond of exploiting your loved ones. Hello Mother’s and Father’s day. And it’s a mere month until mummy dearest is the new loved one of choice. So if Valentine’s is all about love, then why do Mum and Dad get lumped into their own separate holidays? Oh yeah! The card shop manager wanted a holiday this year.
Now I typically don’t disapprove of a day dedicated to me getting nice things, presents and fancy dinners, but I have a question. Why is it condensed to one day? In a relationship, it’s pretty vital to ensure your partner knows that you care, and sometimes a small gift is the way to go, just because.
Perhaps it’s for the comfy couples. The ones who are in it for the long haul and who’s most romantic gesture was giving you the last chicken ball from the takeaway.
A night of dinner, dancing and love, what could go wrong? Perhaps the fact that everywhere you go is double the price that it would be on any other day. And it’s almost impossible to get into anywhere decent because it’s been completely booked up since last Valentine’s Day. The only place that appears to be free is the place we were trying to escape; the faithful couch. Now where’s that takeaway menu?
Singles: it sadly gets no better. Not only is everyone else’s love in your face whenever you leave the house or check Facebook, some people want you to get involved in the festivities. Yep, it’s the dreaded family/friend set-up. “Oh I’m just SURE you’ll get on great” they gush, “He’s really into taxidermy, you like animals don’t you?”
Fast forward to the date, he’s brought a stuffed dog as a gift and is assessing what dog breeds are best for stuffing. First of all, I have to question said friend on what kind of person they think I am. Is this the kind of conversation I engage in on a regular basis? I think not.
Secondly, I’ve actually found Valentine’s to be the best when left all on my own. It turns out that I am a fabulous date, if I do say so myself. The four components that are necessary in making this happen are: an alcoholic beverage, some delicious food, a piece of cinematic magic and yourself. Who needs another person there hogging all the bread and whispering at you through the film? Not us.
However, if company over Valentine’s is a must for you, don’t automatically assume that you need a date. Taxidermy Toby can wait for another day, treat your nearest and dearest to a mate date. There’s no awkward silences and your mates won’t judge you for vomiting up the bottle of wine. There’s no bond stronger than your friend who gladly holds your hair back at the end of a long night.
So just in case it hasn’t been made clear, the love is lost between me and Valentines Day. I don’t need your silly holiday to spread the love, I can do that all on my own. And no amount of stuffed bears and heart shaped chocolates will make me any nicer towards it. Sorry Valentines, but it looks like the only one not getting the love this year, is you. I’m all good here, thanks.