“Heh heh, don’t worry Emma, we’ll get the nut loaf in for you”, my family of carnivores sneered. And eventually I caved and decided that they could do just that. So Christmas chef, my lovely brother in law, lovingly prepared me my first cruelty free Christmas dinner, and boy was it good.
To be honest, my initial hesitations about nut loaf seem so ridiculous now. I love bread, I love cheese; herbs are a fun time and I’m positively nuts for nuts. And really, all a nut loaf is sticking them all together in a loaf tin and bake it until they all come together as a nice hunk of heaven.
As it arrived on my plate, the carnivores looked at me with scepticism and fear. She can’t possibly like it, they laughed. But some were actually looking at my feast with envy. Their dead piglet was a fine second prize, but I’m certain if their ever filling stomachs allowed them, they’d of tucked into my nut loaf too.
Not only was it delicious, it was very filling, making me feel just as content and slightly sleepy as the rest of the table by the end of the meal. And it gave a great excuse to feign extreme bloatedness when people tried to force those devilish green fart balls on to my plate. Yep, the dreaded spouts were evaded. “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly eat another bite!” Hehehe…
Although some eyebrows were raised in suspicion as I quickly tucked into my monster chocolatey dessert. I wish I hadn’t though, I’m still not fully over it to be honest.
The rest of the day consisted of just completely unnecessary greed. A natural occurrence at Christmas. Crisps, nuts, and some naughty After Eights. It’s safe to say the veggie diary could be a little bit sparse for the next few weeks or so whilst I wait for my stomach to not scolding me with low, sad groans. I’m sorry digestive system! But as Slade likes to loudly proclaim at this time of the year, ‘IT’S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!”