Sometimes a Facebook page comes along that is so funny it makes us laugh until we pee a little. Overheard In The Westend is one such page. Dedicated to Glasgow’s most pretentious characters, this gem of a burn board has been running since 2010, but still merits daily submissions from a whole host of eavesdroppers.
Why is it so hilarious? Because, quite frankly, we’ve all come across a West End Wendy at some point. Hell, some of us will even admit that we’ve become one after a few years residing too close to Byres Road. And the true West Enders among us can laugh pityingly at those peasants who think there’s something funny about us loudly going about our daily business. They’re totes jel, ya?
Whatever your camp, West End, East End, Glasgow or Aberdeen, sit back and enjoy our all-time favourite things overheard in the West End.
Via Lucy Littlejohn
“I overheard a girl in a coffee shop who’d decided to cut about the place with no shoes on. She said, ‘I think I’ll get a tattoo of a bird, because I love the idea of having a pet bird, but like, I hate the idea of keeping a bird in a cage. I’d need to have a bird that like, chose to be with me.’”
Via Steph Daly
“It’s early one Sunday morning in Farmfoods on Byres Road. Two young female freshers are giggling and excitedly buying bacon, eggs and sausages. After paying, the more excited of the two declares, ‘Isn’t it fun cooking for boys?’
Via Jules Boyle
“Just overheard two kids around seven years old talking in Kelvingrove Park.
Child one: ‘Did you watch that Panorama episode I told you about?’
Child two: ‘Yes, it was fascinating!’
Sometimes the West End can just fuck off.”
Via Calum Cook
“On the subway and one girl says to her friend, ‘I feel like I’m a gay man trapped in a straight woman’s body. I love musicals and things like that, so sometimes I seriously consider getting a sex change. The problem is that guys are attracted to me like flies to honey, and I love guys, so I’m not sure how that would work.’”
Via Jamie McLeod
￼￼￼￼“Overheard a typical Wendy in Starbucks on Byres Road:
‘Didnt I order a decaff latte? I will have such a caffine hangover tomorrow!’
The guy with her answered, ‘Yes I’m sure you did, why don’t you change it?’
Wendy replies, ‘Let’s cancel the cleaner tonight and I’ll do the dishes and the ironing to burn the energy!’”
Via Sarah Graham
“Overheard a mother speaking to her five or six year old son on Byres Road.
‘What percentage of this week’s pocket money are you giving to charity?’
Via Fiona Skillen
“Overheard in Waitrose on Byres Road. A customer was shouting at the store manager, using some rather colourful language. He replied, ‘First things first madam, can we lower our voices, we are not in Asda!’”
Via Victoria Granger
“Overheard in an organic West End greengrocer:
‘Could you recommend an apple that’s not too tart, but not too sweet? It’s for the dogs, you see.’”
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