By Jennifer Lynn
1. Learn Spanish words other than Por Favor and Gracias.
Manners are all that matter, right?
2. Watch a classic film at an outdoor cinema.
Nice idea on paper, but the romance of Pretty in Pink is lost when you can’t see the screen for rain and your bum goes numb after 20 minutes sitting on the ground.
3. Find the perfect sunglasses for your face shape.
Surely Ray-Ban Wayfarers work for everyone? (Trust me, they don’t!)
4. Come back from T in the Park with all your valuables intact.
The weekend couldn’t be classed as a success without a waterlogged iPhone or lost wallet.
5. Camp somewhere OTHER than T in the Park.
Why would you put yourself through a muddy, showerless weekend without booze and bands worth suffering for?
6. Tie Dye your own t-shirts.
You helped to save the economy by buying them ready-made from Topshop.
7. Have a holiday romance.
Relationships are a winter sport!
8. Dye your hair pink.
It might have got Charlotte Free noticed in the modelling world, but it’ll probably clash with your interview outfit when you’re trying to nail that graduate job.
9. Try something different on Nando’s menu.
Why fix what’s not broken? Medium spice chicken burger, spicy rice, chips and a bottomless drink, please!
10. Exercise your way to a stomach like Jessica Ennis or Tom Daley.
Blame your parents for not forcing sports clubs upon you as a child.
11. Go on a road trip.
£80 on petrol or £80 on a Ryanair flight to Ibiza… tough decision.
12. Get a meaningful tattoo to commemorate your month travelling in Thailand.
It might help if you had done something other than go to Full Moon parties, watch Ladyboy cabarets and almost die tubing in Laos. Fun times though!
13. Host a barbecue.
Most of your mates had one anyway, and this way no one can blame you for their bout of food poisoning.
14. Get a real tan.
Let’s face it, as a nation about 90% of us are immediately disadvantaged by ginger skin, so factor 50 and Fake Bake are the only way to go.